22.11.2012, 06:41
i dont know how to get on the discussion group there isnt a reply btuotn. anyway, i wanted to share my story in hopes that it helps me as well as anyone else. when i was 19 i started feeling energy. mostly negitive i believe. i am unsure because it could have been out of fear. although when i was scared the energy would leave. that leads me to believe that the energy that was approaching me at that time wasnt negatitve. i graduated massage therapy school at 20 yrs of age and felt confident due to the enviorment i was educated in. it was a safe place and any energy work that was practiced was done in love and with boundaries. so when i left i thought i became comfortable with what i had been doing. now on my own, i continued dealing with energy experiences with the same skills i had learned. i met a demon. i didnt realize at that time that was what had happened. i thought it to be a trapped spirit. i could see it and hear it but not as a voice. it grabbed ahold of me momentarily so i thought, but never really left. i went to my church leaders for help and i received no real relief other than words and i left feeling not that i was crazy but that they thought i was crazy. i could still see and feel this energy mostly everywhere i went. it only got worse with time and i coped by self medicating. after 5 or so years i began to hear them as if i am verbally talking to u now.i have responsibilities and i will not drop everything because of evil spirits that are in the world that i hear and feel. i have lost alot alot because of this but i have been able to hold onto what matters. my kids. i sometimes believe that they are better off without me but i cant imagine that being true.i miss feeling like myself. i miss howi woke up happy almos all the time. i miss the sound of my own thoughts. i miss the joy of waking to a new day. everything bleeds into history. and i know it isnt real. i miss just feeling authentic. poeple take it for granted. i hope that i have that again one day. just me. i hate others being hurt by this and i need support. it is day in and day out. in my dreams i can feel it in my body i can hear it all dy long i used to try to make it nice but that is a fantacy they arent nice and i dont want to pretend to make it fit my agenda. but how do u address it any other way?but i read something on here that i think may be very helpful. turn everything they say around and repeat it. just because they are negative doent mean that u are. it isnt ur intenti0on creating this. i tries for years to find fault in myself for this and if i changed enough it would stop although i ceased to exsist all together which is a place without protection. keep being you no matter what and in time all the lies and deceit will disinegrate into words. i dont think they go away but u can move out of a place of fear. best of luck. i guess in situations like thisu are ur own best friend.